Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Christian Advice Needed – How Do I Get Over The Pain And Hurt Caused By Someone Close To Me Who Won’t Change?
This person, who is very close to me, is utterly selfish and although I’ve explained how their behaviour is hurting me, they refuse to change. I don’t hate this person and I have prayed to the Lord to help me to forgive and forget, but I can’t. I don’t want to have anything more to do with this person and I wish I could just pretend they did not exist. Any Christian insights or advice would be appreciated.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Can A New Christian & An Established Christian Date?
By Karyn Markwell
‘Can a new Christian have a relationship with a more established Christian?’ J
The short answer is yes, a new Christian and a more established Christian can date.
It’s not possible to be ‘more Christian’ than another Christian – we’re either a Christian or we’re not. So in that aspect a ‘new Christian’ and an ‘established Christian’ are equally Christian and can therefore date without being unequally yoked.
However, there are a few important things to consider:
1. It’s possible for someone who believes that they’re a Christian to be a false convert: it’s usually newer Christians who are false converts, as their faith hasn’t yet been tested. At the first sign of trouble or persecution, these false converts usually abandon the Christian faith, because they weren’t really saved to begin with. Established Christians should therefore ensure that the new Christian who they’re considering dating is in fact genuinely saved
2. False converts & new Christians can draw established Christians away from their faith: when Christians choose to date false converts or new Christians, their intentions are usually good – they usually believe that their faith will remain strong and that the other person won’t be able to draw them away from God. But much, much more frequently, the false convert or new Christian will draw the established Christian away from their faith. The false convert or new Christian usually doesn’t do this intentionally, but as their focus will be self-centred instead of Christ-centred, their choices, words and actions will reflect their worldly views. While the false convert will never likely break this pattern (unless they become genuinely saved), with prayer and Bible study, the new Christian will in time become more Christ-like. But until they do, they will have the opportunity to negatively influence the established Christian who they’re dating
3. Established Christians are responsible for newer Christians: God expects established Christians to set younger Christians a good example and to help them to become strong in their faith. But the lures of the world are strong and what usually happens instead is that both the established Christian and the new Christian (or false convert) who are dating will fall into sin – usually sexual sin. In this case, both will be guilty of having sinned, but the established Christian will be held responsible. The Bible says, ‘But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were thrown into the sea’ (Mt 9:42)
If a new Christian is genuinely saved, then there’s no reason why they shouldn’t date an established Christian. If a Christian couple remember to pray and study the Bible together and commit their relationship to God, He will give them the strength they need to overcome all temptations and challenges.
By Karyn Markwell
‘Can a new Christian have a relationship with a more established Christian?’ J
The short answer is yes, a new Christian and a more established Christian can date.
It’s not possible to be ‘more Christian’ than another Christian – we’re either a Christian or we’re not. So in that aspect a ‘new Christian’ and an ‘established Christian’ are equally Christian and can therefore date without being unequally yoked.
However, there are a few important things to consider:
1. It’s possible for someone who believes that they’re a Christian to be a false convert: it’s usually newer Christians who are false converts, as their faith hasn’t yet been tested. At the first sign of trouble or persecution, these false converts usually abandon the Christian faith, because they weren’t really saved to begin with. Established Christians should therefore ensure that the new Christian who they’re considering dating is in fact genuinely saved
2. False converts & new Christians can draw established Christians away from their faith: when Christians choose to date false converts or new Christians, their intentions are usually good – they usually believe that their faith will remain strong and that the other person won’t be able to draw them away from God. But much, much more frequently, the false convert or new Christian will draw the established Christian away from their faith. The false convert or new Christian usually doesn’t do this intentionally, but as their focus will be self-centred instead of Christ-centred, their choices, words and actions will reflect their worldly views. While the false convert will never likely break this pattern (unless they become genuinely saved), with prayer and Bible study, the new Christian will in time become more Christ-like. But until they do, they will have the opportunity to negatively influence the established Christian who they’re dating
3. Established Christians are responsible for newer Christians: God expects established Christians to set younger Christians a good example and to help them to become strong in their faith. But the lures of the world are strong and what usually happens instead is that both the established Christian and the new Christian (or false convert) who are dating will fall into sin – usually sexual sin. In this case, both will be guilty of having sinned, but the established Christian will be held responsible. The Bible says, ‘But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were thrown into the sea’ (Mt 9:42)
If a new Christian is genuinely saved, then there’s no reason why they shouldn’t date an established Christian. If a Christian couple remember to pray and study the Bible together and commit their relationship to God, He will give them the strength they need to overcome all temptations and challenges.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
What Are Some Tips For Dating On A Budget?
By Karyn Markwell
Like the rest of us, you’re probably strapped for cash from time to time. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t have some memorable dates with your boyfriend or girlfriend!
In the months before you become engaged to someone, and then in the following months before you get married, it’s important to spend a lot of time together to build a solid foundation of love for your future relationship. Whenever you date, you should seek activities that will draw you closer to one another, and to God.
* Sharing a meal is an ideal way to date, as eating meals together have always been a sign of friendship. You don’t have to eat out at a restaurant; home-cooked dinners or picnics are ideal
* It’s a great idea to involve your families in a lot of activities as well. It’s exciting to spend time just with your boyfriend or girlfriend, but it’s important that your family gets to spend time with him or her as well – especially if you do later marry
Here are some wallet-friendly dating suggestions, for those times when your finances are tight:
* Pack a picnic for yourself and your boyfriend or girlfriend and spend the afternoon in your local park. You could also turn this into a family occasion by inviting your families. Bring some balls and frisbees and make a day of it
* Spend the day together at the beach. It’s the weather’s warm enough, you can swim. If it’s too cold, collect sea shells and walk instead
* Snuggle up together on your back verandah for some stargazing. Looking at the night sky inevitably leads to a sense of our own minuteness. Spend the evening contemplating God’s hugeness and glory. Praise Him for sending His Son to die in our place, so that we might live
* You and your boyfriend or girlfriend could lovingly prepare a home-cooked meal for your entire family. Banish everyone from the kitchen and dining room until you’re ready to serve. This will add to the sense of novelty and anticipation. Cook something that you know everyone loves, but which you don’t eat very often. If younger siblings (or Dad) sneak in for a peek, give them a job, like peeling potatoes. Set the dining table with the best cutlery and crockery and don’t forget a centrepiece of flowers or pretty leaves from the garden
* Host a dinner or afternoon tea for both sets of parents, to encourage them to get to know each other better. You and your boyfriend or girlfriend can serve everyone and just allow your parents to talk. An occasion like this will demonstrate to your parents that you are both serious about your relationship together
Like the rest of us, you’re probably strapped for cash from time to time. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t have some memorable dates with your boyfriend or girlfriend!
In the months before you become engaged to someone, and then in the following months before you get married, it’s important to spend a lot of time together to build a solid foundation of love for your future relationship. Whenever you date, you should seek activities that will draw you closer to one another, and to God.
* Sharing a meal is an ideal way to date, as eating meals together have always been a sign of friendship. You don’t have to eat out at a restaurant; home-cooked dinners or picnics are ideal
* It’s a great idea to involve your families in a lot of activities as well. It’s exciting to spend time just with your boyfriend or girlfriend, but it’s important that your family gets to spend time with him or her as well – especially if you do later marry
Here are some wallet-friendly dating suggestions, for those times when your finances are tight:
* Pack a picnic for yourself and your boyfriend or girlfriend and spend the afternoon in your local park. You could also turn this into a family occasion by inviting your families. Bring some balls and frisbees and make a day of it
* Spend the day together at the beach. It’s the weather’s warm enough, you can swim. If it’s too cold, collect sea shells and walk instead
* Snuggle up together on your back verandah for some stargazing. Looking at the night sky inevitably leads to a sense of our own minuteness. Spend the evening contemplating God’s hugeness and glory. Praise Him for sending His Son to die in our place, so that we might live
* You and your boyfriend or girlfriend could lovingly prepare a home-cooked meal for your entire family. Banish everyone from the kitchen and dining room until you’re ready to serve. This will add to the sense of novelty and anticipation. Cook something that you know everyone loves, but which you don’t eat very often. If younger siblings (or Dad) sneak in for a peek, give them a job, like peeling potatoes. Set the dining table with the best cutlery and crockery and don’t forget a centrepiece of flowers or pretty leaves from the garden
* Host a dinner or afternoon tea for both sets of parents, to encourage them to get to know each other better. You and your boyfriend or girlfriend can serve everyone and just allow your parents to talk. An occasion like this will demonstrate to your parents that you are both serious about your relationship together
‘Should I attempt to convert my non-Christian fiancée (a Muslim girl) to our religion?’
Should I Attempt To Convert My Non-Christian Fiancée?
By Karyn Markwell | 13-Mar-09 in Engagement
Karyn Markwell
When Christians become engaged to someone from another religious group, their intentions are usually good. They often believe that:
* their faith will remain strong and their spouse won’t be able to draw them away from God
* they’re doing God an act of service by marrying someone who they intend to win to Christ
But the Bible warns Christians not to marry – and therefore not to becoming engaged to, or even date – non-Christians. Here’s why:
* When we become Christians, we no longer belong to ‘our father the devil’, but to God. Those who belong to God and those who belong to the devil (all non-believers) cannot coexist in harmony together: ‘Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?’ (1 Co 6:14-15)
* As Christians, we cannot choose to live a lifestyle that is contrary to God’s Word, just because we prefer to: ‘Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind’ (Ro 12:2)
* The non-Christian world is watching all followers of Christ and they rejoice when we stumble. Those who hate God would love to be able to prove that everyone who follows Him are hypocrites – the last thing they want to discover is that God is actually real and that they will be held accountable for not serving Him. By dating or becoming engaged to non-believers, we are disobeying God’s commands – we are in effect announcing to the world that we are hypocrites
This is a good warning for Christians before they date non-Christians, but how about those who are already in love with and engaged to non-Christians? How about those who are married to non-Christians?
The answer to the question ‘Should we attempt to convert our non-Christian fiancés / spouses?’ is most definitely ‘Yes’! They need God’s saving grace in order to have their sins forgiven, to escape Hell and to spend eternity with Him.
* In the case of Christians who are married to non-Christians, we need to persevere in our marriages, attempting daily to convert the other person through our godly example. We cannot divorce them in order to remarry a Christian
* For Christians who are dating or are engaged to non-Christians, they should commit not to marry until after they are converted. God loves them and wants them to be saved – He will therefore assist us in our efforts to convert them
By Karyn Markwell | 13-Mar-09 in Engagement
Karyn Markwell
When Christians become engaged to someone from another religious group, their intentions are usually good. They often believe that:
* their faith will remain strong and their spouse won’t be able to draw them away from God
* they’re doing God an act of service by marrying someone who they intend to win to Christ
But the Bible warns Christians not to marry – and therefore not to becoming engaged to, or even date – non-Christians. Here’s why:
* When we become Christians, we no longer belong to ‘our father the devil’, but to God. Those who belong to God and those who belong to the devil (all non-believers) cannot coexist in harmony together: ‘Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?’ (1 Co 6:14-15)
* As Christians, we cannot choose to live a lifestyle that is contrary to God’s Word, just because we prefer to: ‘Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind’ (Ro 12:2)
* The non-Christian world is watching all followers of Christ and they rejoice when we stumble. Those who hate God would love to be able to prove that everyone who follows Him are hypocrites – the last thing they want to discover is that God is actually real and that they will be held accountable for not serving Him. By dating or becoming engaged to non-believers, we are disobeying God’s commands – we are in effect announcing to the world that we are hypocrites
This is a good warning for Christians before they date non-Christians, but how about those who are already in love with and engaged to non-Christians? How about those who are married to non-Christians?
The answer to the question ‘Should we attempt to convert our non-Christian fiancés / spouses?’ is most definitely ‘Yes’! They need God’s saving grace in order to have their sins forgiven, to escape Hell and to spend eternity with Him.
* In the case of Christians who are married to non-Christians, we need to persevere in our marriages, attempting daily to convert the other person through our godly example. We cannot divorce them in order to remarry a Christian
* For Christians who are dating or are engaged to non-Christians, they should commit not to marry until after they are converted. God loves them and wants them to be saved – He will therefore assist us in our efforts to convert them
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
